My focus has always been more on doing than getting things. When we do for others we benefit ourselves in numerous ways, but that can’t be our reason for doing. Our reasons need to be because we CAN help someone in a situation that they NEED help in. Giving money to someone who can’t manage money isn’t helping and giving pity to a whiner isn’t helping either. We need to navigate our own desire to help by walking away when we know we’re enabling bad behaviour.
Every day we see someone who needs a little help and every day we see someone who needs to help themselves. As a fixer, that was one of the most difficult things for me to learn. I would jump in to fix without realising I was enabling. Enabling is depriving someone from realising their own potential.
So what does successful help look like?
#1 Rule - Successful helping is doing something for someone that they can’t do for themselves.
We see this in agencies that help the homeless. Helping is not giving panhandlers money to buy booze and drugs. We help them by giving our time and resources to the agencies who know how to transition panhandlers from the street to living under their own roof and supporting themselves. The quick fix of dropping a buck or two into their hand may make you feel better, but really, you’re just prolonging their time on the street by doing that.
Successful helping results in an improved state for all parties. When we help people in the right ways we generate in them a certain good will towards others which spreads through their sphere of influence. When we help people we feel a sense of trust that good will prevail. The more we do, the stronger that trust becomes.
Hope is a renewable resource. Are you feeling hopeless? Give someone else hope and see the hope grow in your own life. In giving of ourselves we create hope within and through our sphere of influence. You have the ability to create an existence for yourself that is hopeful and meaningful. I would go so far as saying you have an intrinsic need for it.
No matter what we live without, we are always in a more advantaged position than most people in the world. If you’re reading this you are rich by world standards. How fortunate for you, to be in a position to truly make a difference in someone’s life today.
What do you have to give today?
Much Love xo