Just because I thought it...

I Did It Last Time 

It was 3am on a snowy night recently, our 13-year-old Newfoundland dog, Poppy, was stirring in the night. She’s been like this for a while now, and we’ve been getting up with her and letting her out. Part of it is she likes the snow, a lot, the other is just that her routine is breaking down to accommodate her loss of control. When she needs to go out, she needs to go out. But’s it’s also complicated by the fact that we have stairs at the back of our house which she can get down but can’t get back up. So regardless of whether it’s 3am or not, when she needs to go out, we let her out the back so she can go where she’s used to going in her fenced in back yard, then when she’s ready to come in, we have to put on our winter gear and walk her around to the front of the house. She’s on her own 13-year-old dog time as well. The entire process from when she needs to go out, to when she’s back in is around 30 mins. 

So, it’s 3am, and Poppy is stirring. Sleepily, I ask my partner, ‘Is that Poppy?’ – his response “I did it last time”. 

It’s 3:15am and I’m standing outside in my pyjamas, boots, winter coat, hat and mitts. It’s minus 15 degrees and snowing, the kind of snow that slaps you in the face. Did I mention that Poppy is my partner’s dog? We got her for his birthday 12 years ago. She was a rescue. I love Poppy, she’s my beautiful, adorable and cocky big bear. Yes, I love her, we both do, and I have no problem ensuring she gets what she needs to be a happy and well cared for old dog. 

But, as I’m standing out there I’m comparing the lists of what I did last time, in terms of our collective responsibilities as a couple, and what my partner’s list looks like. I’m pretty sure any woman who lives with a man would tell you her list is significantly longer than that of her spouse. Like about 100 times longer. I own the position I’m in. I clearly agreed that we’d take turns letting Poppy out, so neither of us was completely missing a night of sleep. I’m not mad, I’m contemplative (and to be honest, finding a bit of humour in my predicament). 

The next day I broach the subject with my partner, who is a loving, intelligent man who wants to be the best person he can be. We talk about our lists. I tell him that I don’t want an “I did it last time” kind of relationship. We’re 22 years into our partnership and it’s time to rethink this. We talk about lists and whether I should be giving him chores to do. I talk about how I don’t want a relationship with a man who thinks he’s helping his wife take care of things. As I’m having this conversation I feel a connection to all the women and men in the world who are looking at each other, loving each other, and trying to establish what works in today’s world where women are working as much, if not more, than their husbands. I feel a connection to all the women, myself included, who have done more – the women who did everything for their sons and launched them on the world knowing nothing about how to be a good partner. Those same women, spending countless hours teaching their daughters how to take care of a home, how to cook and clean and take care of everything. I think about the men struggling to find their role when the Head of the House role became redundant. Yet, here we are, wanting and needing something wonderful to transpire between us. 

We’re in a new paradigm. The roles of women and men have changed. We can either let that divide us and wear us out, or we can rewrite the map for what relationships need in these new times. It’s a good topic to contemplate, while you’re standing outside in the middle of winter, in the middle of the night, because it’s your turn to take out the dog. Or when your loving partner is busy making you a lovely breakfast on a snowy, Saturday morning. May we all be so loved.

Yes, #metoo 

My earliest memory of feeling creeped out, based on a male’s behaviour towards me, is from around age 7. I’m sitting on an uncle’s lap, while he and his son, my older cousin, joke suggestively about it. No one else hears or notices. All I understand is the feeling I get; thanks to the instincts I was born with. I jump down and sit on the floor. I don’t tell anyone about feeling strange. 

A few years later, still a child - I’m walking along my country road, alone. A man drives up beside me and stops. “Ever seen one of these?” - he watches me intently as I approach his car and look in at the erect penis in his hand. Calmly, I say, “fuck off!”, turn around, walk up a neighbor’s driveway, and wait until I’m sure he is gone. I don’t tell anyone. 

Fast forward to my first job. I’m a teenager. The ice cream shop owner that I work for likes to fondle the girl’s bottoms. I’m the only girl working this afternoon and it’s getting uncomfortable enough that I call home, ask to be picked up. My family arrives, I give them all free ice cream cones, and quit. I don’t talk about why. 

Highschool, myself and a friend are getting a short lift back to our car, from classmates we know as acquaintances. They have other ideas. We fight them off. 

It’s later the same year - a male customer from my workplace, who I’m nice to, like all the other customers, surprises me at the back door one night as I’m closing the shop. Sexual assault with a weapon. He’s charged. I’m forced to testify in an open court room. He harasses me on my way in and my way out of the courthouse. After his release, he stalks and intimidates me. I move away to Toronto, where he finds me and continues to stalk and intimidate me, for months. The one time I do speak out, I learn it’s not worth it. 

Forward along to my 20s - I’m in the music business, where any number of opportunities might come my way if I’m a little less professional and a lot more willing. I lose track of how many ‘business’ meetings get uncomfortable. I don’t speak up, I just scratch the creeps off my list, one by one – then I get a manager to represent me. 

I was a smart girl and I’m a smart woman. I’m confident and I can take care of myself. The older I’ve become, the less I’m targeted. Lately I’ve questioned why my response has been so muted over my lifetime’s experiences. All I can say is, it felt natural to retreat. When something has spooked you in that way, all you want to do is remove yourself from danger, to flee from the creep. 

Women are now saying “me too”. The silence became too excruciating. There’s comfort in numbers. 

Where do we go from here? In some countries men can still beat their wives, legally. Let’s start there. And let’s just say until every woman has the right, in every aspect of her life, to be treated with respect, and to feel safe from sexual predators, then we have not arrived. We still won’t have arrived until every man agrees and is fully on board with the idea, that women deserve to be treated with the same respect that men have eagerly bestowed upon themselves, for centuries. 

We go towards mutual respect. We go towards education, empathy, open communication, positive role modelling and creating a new paradigm where this shit is out in the open, and extinguished, for good.

Gratitude - My Thanksgiving message.  

It is one of those beautiful fall days here, a day perfect for gratitude.

I am grateful for:

Nature and the endless wonder it provides.

Sunny days.

Rainy days.

The animal kingdom.

Love.

I am grateful for:
Friendship, the kind that you know in your heart is without judgement, full of grace.

I am grateful for opportunity.

I am grateful for my parents, and the love they shared. My parents never used shame or guilt to get me to spend time with them, and because of that I came home to them when they needed me, spent many, many hours lovingly at their side, and was able to help them through their last years with love. So many parents don’t seem to get this, and sadly sit alone wondering why their kids keep their distance. My heart is full of gratitude when I think of these people who brought me into the world and allowed me my life, my autonomy.

I am grateful for creativity, for inspiration and the world of art.

I am grateful for intellect, wisdom and quantum science.

I am grateful for books & spirituality.

I am grateful for good vibrations because I know they create good things.

I am grateful for good neighbours, grace.

I am grateful for honesty, courage and a helping hand.

I am grateful for humility and self reflection.

I am grateful for apples and I am grateful for peace.

And lastly, I am grateful for gratitude itself, because I believe it is the most powerful energy on earth.

Sending much love and gratitude your way.

The Awakening of Happiness 

I talk a lot about choosing our thoughts wisely, that they create our life. But it’s a very big idea and I wanted to take a moment to share some of the wisdom I’ve gleaned since losing my parents a few years back. There’s nothing like loss to help us dig a bit deeper into our own authenticity.

As the youngest child, my experience in the first few years of my life was one of observation. Missing was the spotlight and the constant hands on approach that - say for instance, the only child or the oldest child might experience. There for the observing were my older siblings at various stages of development and parental influence, acting and reacting to everything that happened: some of them sulking, others curious, and others rebellious – all in response to the same situation, each of them thinking of things slightly differently, attaching different meanings. I had courage and fear at my disposal, love and hate, worry and curiosity, optimism and pessimism, generosity and stinginess. The fact that I have the awareness of choice in how I think of and show up in the world today, is largely because I was shown the choices when it most mattered.

And that’s how it works. During the time we are between the ages of 0 -7 our brains are in theta, otherwise known as download mode. It’s the state hypnotists put us in to unlock or retrain the subconscious mind, which is our most powerful resource as human beings; literally the driving force of our lives. It’s necessary for us to be in theta during that phase of life, because we have so much to learn. Crucial networks of ideas are being formed during this time - which ‘life’ operating system or beliefs to download from these experiences we’re observing. Simply put – what the new child of this world sees and experiences becomes their belief of the way it is. At the same time we’re learning how to walk and speak, we’re learning how to think and what to believe. We’re being indoctrinated into the family belief system whether it has any merit or not. It becomes imbedded in the subconscious mind and becomes our operating system, for life. If your family belief system was one of lack, you likely picked up the belief that life is lacking, difficult and worrisome. And if that’s the case, you most likely have a lot of difficulty and worries about resources and life in general today. You might even say it became your story.

But what if you grew up in an ‘everything is going to be fine’ belief system? How would that colour your life? What would that story look like?

I grew up in an ‘everything is going to be fine’ world. But not all of my siblings did. The ones who were born first were literally dropped into a scarcity challenge; times were tough, a young married couple trying to eek out a living as musicians and raise little kids. Let’s just say, I’m glad I came last. Times were good when I arrived. We lived in a kind of abundance that those young parents were only yet dreaming of. And you know what? My life has pretty much been an ‘everything is going to be fine’ story. I am grateful.

But I’m not writing this to brag about my life. The message is too important to ignore. I have had an ‘everything is going to be fine’ life because I BELIEVED IT WAS AN EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE WORLD.

The beliefs we download colour our every experience and literally set the trajectory for our lives. Our beliefs dictate how we show up in the world, day in day out – moment to moment. Our beliefs become our thoughts which dictate our experiences.

‘OH-MY-GOD!!’

‘But wait! I was only a kid’ you say! ‘I want to choose a new operating system!’

With awareness comes the opportunity to reprogram where needed. So if you’re saying, I want to believe I’m safe, hopeful, lovable, worthy, courageous (or whatever you feel you’re lacking) but I grew up in that scarcity world and my life is a scarcity life - ‘that’s just the way it is’ – then the solution is to begin the reprogramming.

If given the choice, what do you really want to believe? What do you really want your life to look like? If you want to believe you can be happy, look no further than the closest happy person as proof of what is possible. The only difference between them and you is that they either were shown happiness in the theta state of their young minds and it became their truth, or they became aware it was a choice and went ahead and chose it. A lot of people think that sounds too simple but here’s the thing:  When you choose you’d like to become a master chef do you just wave your magic wand and ta da! A master chef you are!? Of course not.

When we choose to learn something new we generally have to engage in a certain amount of study and practice. It is a journey of becoming aware of our programming. It is a journey of trial and error. But rest assured, happiness is an available choice for all of us, even if we have to learn it from scratch. Practice being happy and one day you’ll be a master at it.

With the neuroplasticity of your brain, it is possible to completely reprogram your subconscious mind to think however you want to think, and to show up in the world believing whatever you want, being the true YOU instead of your programming - and therefore colouring your every moment with new fresh colours, fresh experiences and a fresh outlook on life and your overall well being that feels really true to you – even if nothing else changes in your life.

Even if you were not given strong examples of love, safety, abundance, happiness, courage and delight as a young child when you were in download mode, this doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a life of feeling unfulfilled. YOU are not the belief system you grew up in, you were influenced by it and it had a pretty strong impact on how you think and behave but you weren’t even eight years old, you didn’t have the capacity to make better choices for yourself then. Take charge and make some healthier decisions for yourself now. Begin the reprogramming. Begin the study of happiness. What really makes you happy? Everyone’s path is different, but my wish for you is that your path finds you thinking happy thoughts and living happy and fulfilled lives, because the happier  we think, the happier we feel, the happier we are. Eventually, it’s your new program and it’s just the way it is.

Sending much love your way.

The Graces of Knowing 

I had a memory pop up this week. I think I must have been around age three.  I feel like I was in one of those snow suits that resemble the letter t, arms straight out either side.

I was tobogganing, and something must have knocked the wind out of me at the bottom of what was likely a pretty small hill. What I remember was this man getting down to my level, looking me right in the eye and saying, ‘you’re ok kid’ – and I felt ok – until my sister came upon the scene and I burst into tears.

It’s a powerful message, to hear you’re ok. Maybe I needed to hear it now, just like that little kid did. That brave, innocent little girl, who didn’t know, didn’t have a clue - what life had in store for her or what to be afraid of.

Now I know we never really know what life has in store for us. We never really know the full meaning of every lesson, or grasp the full breadth of our experiences. We are limited to our level of wisdom at any given moment, confined to the workings of our present mind.

Perhaps ‘the knowing’ we seek isn’t what we think it is. Perhaps it’s not so much about knowing what is going to happen to us, but rather knowing that whatever happens to us, we’ll be ok. May we be blessed enough to understand just that.  The more confident we become in this thinking, the less challenging our life becomes, the fewer dragons we have to fight.

It is with that gratitude of knowing, that I extend my best wishes out to you this season, and with a clink of the glass I’d like to also say – you’re ok kid. We all are. Sometimes we get up and dust ourselves off, sometimes we burst into tears but every step of the way we get stronger, wiser and more courageous.

Much Love & Happy Holidays
Carrie

The Love Response  

I’ve been thinking a lot about love these days. The capacity we have for it, how misinterpreted it can be. At the risk of sounding, wait for it ... middle aged (gasp) I have finally arrived at a place where I can see love somewhat objectively, much the same as I can distinguish between my hysterical reaction to a large spider as being my thing vs. the spider’s intent to scare, or, on an even more cosmic level – its destiny. We love. Love is. Love is personal. 

I have felt my own capacity to love in the most wonderful, magical and gut wrenchingly painful ways. So when I talk about love, I’m not only talking about that rush of wonder we feel when we meet someone who takes our breath away, or the love we feel when we find ourselves holding our parent’s hand as we watch them take their dying breath – I’m talking about the actual feeling of love we possess the capacity for, the physical response, which the act of love (or thought of love) provokes. That love is within us and is illuminated by the experiences we choose to let it flow through. 

I probably first felt love as a small child, most likely for a pet. Now, before you start feeling all sorry for me for not having more love in my life as a child – I came from a large family and I was the youngest of 6 kids – the caboose of a long train of children that passed through the house. In this position, I was what you’d call a free range kid. I’m not complaining – because I know now, THAT experience was filled to the brim with love and potential – the freedom to create: your life and your beliefs. Love, love, love!! 

But, that first rush of love was probably for my dog Toro, a beautiful black lab we’d collected at the pound upon moving to the country, a dog that was kind enough to let me ride him and give him full body hugs. He swam in the pool and even knew how to dive off the diving board and get himself up the ladder. I loved that dog, and as anyone who has a pet knows, that love is as real as any other kind of love we manifest – because all of the love is the exact same love, generated by us. It is the love response. 

We aren’t generally too selective about what experiences or people we generate our anger response for, or even our humour response, or what about fear? But the love response we hold close to our hearts – reserving it there for only a select few, and letting it evade most moments in our lives. 

Again, when I talk about love, I’m not talking about being ‘in love’ – because we can’t really be in love with another anymore than we can share the exact same experience at a film. We can both enjoy the film, be engrossed in it – but we’re not in love with it together. We love it, together. When a couple is in love – they simply love – together. I’m talking about our capacity to feel the emotion – that thing that is stirred up in us, the effect, rather than the cause. 

Later in my teen years I experienced the love we generate when we’re sucked into a cultish religion, a feverish, euphoric love. My capacity for love at that time was super inflated and lazer focused. The catch with religions is, they teach us that it is God’s love we feel so we project it at God in gratitude for it – instead of letting it out into the world to infiltrate all we do. It is OUR love we feel and our BELIEF in God that magnifies it. Why do we reserve this capacity within us for only these special deities? Why deprive ourselves and the entire world of this love? Why fight for it and die to protect it when we have it already, right here, within? No one can take it from us unless we let them. It doesn’t make sense. It is our love, human love. We get to drive it and we’re all personally responsible for it. 

I have this analogy in my head, kind of a culmination of every theory on mindfulness, success and happiness I’ve ever read. Think of all of us as being here in this life ‘in training’. For my own vision I see us as all being inline skaters, lined up in lanes, at the ready. Each of us is here to get better at being human, at mastering our love response. We all have our own lane, our own path. The drill starts, we strive to do the best we can, to better our game. We aren’t going to let the person in the next lane take us down, even if they’re our best friend! We may avert their spin out of control – perhaps slowing ourselves in an attempt to make it less of a disaster for them, but then we’re on our way, knowing they’ll be ok, they’re strong. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about the other skater, it doesn’t mean you’d abandon them in the woods in the middle of the night, starving and sure to die. Only they can up their game by practicing, day after day, life after life. You can only help them so much. It is up to them. 

Too many times in life we say we’re acting out of love when we over involve ourselves in someone else’s struggles, but really what we’re doing is just slowing our own progress and usually tainting theirs without even knowing it. That doesn’t feel loving, to ourselves or to those we claim to love. If we are to truly master love, everything must change. We can’t possibly stay in this war torn, fearful, co-dependent state we find ourselves in today, and master love. We first have to learn trust and accountability. If everyone stays in their own love lane and masters their own game, we have a chance at something great. 

I do my best to live in love. Sometimes I slip up and get dragged into the other lane, but for the most part my stride is pretty strong. I don’t aim to be the fastest or the strongest; or even the nicest; I just want to feel the freedom of the flight when all the conditions are right. That takes practice. How often do we find ourselves in these perfect moments, unable to appreciate them because of some internal garbage (lack of love) going on in our heads or in the heads of someone close to us? 

At any time, we can choose that love response, to drive that feeling within to the surface and let it breathe. If for no other reason, just because we can! If you’ve felt love before, then it is right there for you to feel again. You don’t have to purchase anything, or follow prescribed steps to get there. You don’t have to be born again; you just have to decide that your capacity to feel love is now open to all of your experiences. It is your birthright. If the person in the next lane, whether it be your neighbor, your mother-in-law or your significant other, is struggling with their love response, don’t let it slow your own progress. Stay in love, get out of their way. Stay in your own lane and get as strong as you can. Do loving things for yourself. When we get to the end of this life, we can compare notes. 

I’ve heard the love we give is in exact proportion to the love we receive. In the most simplistic of energy experiments we prove that like attracts like. Imagine the love that awaits when you infuse love into all you do. Imagine having little capacity for fear, anxiety, judgement or anger, because love took up all the space in you. In the realm of infinite possibilities, if it’s possible, it is. 

It’s September, the beginning of my favourite time of year. I love to walk in the woods post mosquito season, and to get down to the lake and bid our shore birds goodbye for the winter. The usual chat with the neighbors over a rake (or snow shovel) will commence. There will be loss, there will be joys, and there will be love. 

My wish for you is that you’re able to stay in your own love lane, to accept that everybody is learning at their own pace, according to how much they’ve practiced. Don’t take the world too personally so as to let it drain you of your love response and at the same time, don’t hold it too far away from your heart. The world needs more love in it, now more than ever. If you’re not projecting it, you’re probably not getting it. 

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. 

I have an elderly relative that tells this story of going to the ballet (The Nutcracker) and her younger niece (who was only 6 or 7 at the time) was badly behaved and ruined the show for her. She tells the story, as if it happened yesterday, whenever the younger niece is present, a girl who is now a very successful and progressive girl in her thirties.

The elderly relative is a ‘play it by the rules’ type of person who never wavers from how she thinks she is supposed to behave or talk. The niece, one of my favourite people in the world, is a charming, adventurous, free thinker and planet improver who has had and will continue to have a full and exciting life.

I tell the story because it goes along with my belief that in life, we are given numerous opportunities to respond well, but most of us don’t.

Let’s just say we rewind the story here. Let’s go back to the ballet with that lively little girl and her scrunchy aunt. What if the aunt had recognised that this little girl was just too young (perhaps too smart) and too excited to be at the ballet and in an effort to help everyone else enjoy the performance, she took the young girl away from the ballet and they spent the time looking at the Christmas windows outside and sipped hot chocolate - creating a lasting and loving memory for both of them?

Every time I hear the story where this young girl is vilified, I see the aunt as responding badly to the situation. Not only did she respond badly that day, but she has continued to respond badly every single time she tells the story. Perhaps she even thinks she is a better person than the niece, because she behaves well at the ballet, afterall.

When we respond with love, we not only create a loving response, we create an everlasting love. It’s kind of like contributing to your RRSP, if you max out your opportunities in life to give love instead of judgement, you will be rich in love when you get older.

But if you’re taking every opportunity to max out your judgements and hostility, even keeping them alive for years by telling the stories over and over again, you will be rich with judgement and hostility when you get older.

It’s that simple. You choose how to respond. We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.

Wishing you a most pleasant and insightful week.

Cheering for Earth's colours - Blue, Green and Wonderful 

I gather it’s the Superbowl today. I’ve never been much for sports, but when I lived in the US, I did attend my share of Superbowl parties and I do understand the draw. It’s a reason to celebrate with friends. It’s better than being hauled off to some musical theatre extravaganza with your mother-in-law. I get that!

They’ll even be tuned in to the game at the International Space Station. I think if I had that kind of vista I’d be foregoing the lads in spandex pants, but that’s just me.

We do take sports seriously on this planet. We paint our faces and draw upon our inner most reserves of outrageousness, all in the spirit of cheering on people who make millions of dollars to strut their stuff for us professionally. We purchase players from other regions and countries and slap our colours on them and they become ‘ours’.

The passion of the human race, the coming together with common goals, and the friendly competition between those who find they are cheering for different teams: these perspectives, approaches and forgiveness are in us, and they prove to me that, outside of sports, we CHOOSE to be confrontational on everything else we fight about. We CHOOSE to fail at compassion for each other.

If we can muster up the passion for football, maybe one day we’ll even be able to muster up the passion to be guardians for each other, for planet earth and for the ultimate freedom from over working and being a slave to the debilitating systems we’ve built to date.

If we could muster up that passion, we could virtually create a world that is worth celebrating every day.

Wishing you a week of new insights and new, soul enhancing beginnings.

IDLE NO MORE - Power to the people. 

It’s raining here. The snow is gone, replaced with puddles and a mist that stretches beyond my sight lines. There’s something about a foggy, rainy day that makes me want to hide in my studio, in a world where weather matters not, in a world where the world, matters not. It’s natural to want a hiding place these days. Everywhere we turn there is outrage about something, much of it thriving on lies that rich people tell less than rich people to get them to continue towing their line of greed and entitlement.

It’s been a pivotal week on the Canadian political front. First Nations has stood up and launched an attack against the government in the form of threats ranging from hunger strikes that will continue if they will not meet on treaty terms, to full out ‘we’ll bring down the economy’ messages alongside peaceful drum filled protests that are being staged from coast to coast.

Many may think this is just another native dispute, another inconvenience to the average Joe who needs the rail lines for his business. I, on the other hand, see this as the most important protest that has hit Canada, possibly ever. They are IDLE NO MORE

The First Nations are fed up with Harper not honouring their treaty rights and discussing his sweeping changes with them before implementing them. In essence, his actions as Canada’s Prime Minister have been contrary to the signed agreements between our two nations. Since Harper has taken the lead in Canada he has gutted environmental law, reducing the number of protected properties and waterways from millions to around 80. He has held photo ops where he appears to be creating ‘protected land’ when in fact he has reduced the protected part to a fraction of what it was and called the rest a new ‘National Park’. To the untrained eye, it may appear all good – and Harper is a pro at appealing to those who care little about the facts. He counts on us being asleep.

Idle No More still has a lot of work to do, to organise and come together with a clear message. They are up against a slick and devious government that has even stirred up audit results in the face of the country’s growing outrage, in an effort to discredit First Nations in the only way they know how.  

My wish for Idle No More is that they continue to grow momentum, both within their Canadian community and internationally. I hope they are loud enough to scare away potential investors, and have enough staying power to eliminate the conservatives in the next election.

In order for this happen, we must all become inspired by their love of the earth, their instincts for sustainable living, and their commitment to fair and collaborative governance.

When I saw the masses of First Nations assemble in front of the parliament buildings all I could think was THANK GOD. Thank God they are stirred up and ready for action. Thank God Harper finally has a strong opponent, Thank God for First Nations people, who know a little something about the evils of colonialism and who have the strength, finally, to fight back against it.

Power to the people.

The Creativity Diet 

At this time of year, many of us look for ways to improve our lives in some tangible way. I would be remiss to not share my story of creativity, because it has become abundantly clear to me that it is an essential ingredient for being truly happy.

There comes a time when you just have to force yourself to be creative. As a general rule, I leave periods for creativity in my agenda, lots of it. Sometimes I end up going for a walk, but the idea about the time is that it is my brain time; it is my time to think, create, and disperse any mood the world may have stirred up in me. It works wonders, when I adhere to the basic rule of making time for it.

I got away from this in the past year. I had other priorities, new frontiers to discover, new relationships to build. What I found at the end of the day is that when you don’t make time for creativity it somehow rests. Then when you do call upon it, it’s rusty, it’s tired, even uninspired.

I can give up just about any THING, but not my creativity. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that I need creativity to be happy and balanced. I let it go long enough that I found myself spending negative days ruminating about people ruining my happy life, when in reality; it was the absence of creativity that was making me grumpy.

So I forced myself to be creative. I practiced, I struggled with inspiration, I came up with nothing - time and time again. Then, thankfully, a couple of artist friends asked me to collaborate on their work. Somehow working on other people’s art was easier. It opened up my instincts and allowed the energy to flow like I had become accustomed to. Then, my creative spirit kicked in and it was back.

I had missed it so much I feared it had gone, but what the experience has taught me is that if you don’t want it bad enough, off it goes to celebrate with someone who does.

I can’t tell you how many times adults have told me they wished they had kept up their music lessons. As kids, we are creative spirits. We are alive with creativity. We are delighted by it in fact. Where we go wrong is that we let it go. We let life take over, sometimes we let gloom and doom take over. We forget there is a remedy called creativity to brighten our spirits and make us feel alive and spiritual.

This year I put a message out to the universe that I take being an artist seriously. I’m willing to work hard at it and not take it for granted. As soon as I reconfirmed this to myself, as soon as I was willing to surrender to it with blind faith, opportunities began to flow in. It was my decision all along.

So, sometimes you do have to force creativity. Just like we force ourselves to eat well or get enough exercise. It may be painful at first, it may not even leave you feeling uber inspired at first, but, if you commit to awakening your creative self, you will add tremendous peace and happiness to your life – you may even find yourself giving up blame.

May 2013 be your most creative year yet.


 

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